Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
