I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
