Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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