Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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