What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
