I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
