It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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