Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
God, I missed his penis.
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