I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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