I just cut my nipple shaving
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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