So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize