woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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