was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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