i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Green mimosas i think yes
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
