woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
