I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
