she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
