When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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