Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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