You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
