Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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