I wish I could punch you in the face.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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