There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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