I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
