i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I accidentally had phone sex last night
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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