i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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