If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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