I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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