Why are handjobs necessary in class?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
