I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize