Whoa Z and x make the same sound
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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