i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's blow job season.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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