But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
