how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
