Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
...so i touched it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
