When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
