and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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