carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
