Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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