I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize