i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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