Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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