Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
