Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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