its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
