And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
