Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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