I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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