sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
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I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
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So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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