my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize