I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
