don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
