You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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