Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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