dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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