we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
