Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
