my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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