I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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