The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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