Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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