No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
