whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
