i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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