she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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